Just a Little Guano


As in bat-shit. Which is how crazy I went Sunday night. I don’t know what set me off or why I had to consume 3 squares of chocolate, a piece of pizza and a glass of wine. That’s above and beyond the normal meals I had already consumed and tracked for the day, meals that were delicious and treat-worthy, while being healthy as well.


I had been battling what my friend David calls, “the hongries” all day. I wanted. No target in mind, just a yawning want that urged me to consume. Finally, at 9:10 pm, I submitted to the want.

The following day, I was two pounds heavier.

WHY does it take 2 weeks of blood, sweat and tears to lose two pounds but only an hour to put it back on? That is bloody unfair.

The good news is, it came off pretty quickly. After a day of healthy  choices, a workout and a metric ass-load of water, I’m back to where I was. Which, you know, whew! Salt, you’re a sexy, delicious bastard.

I have a theory. We were at a friends house Saturday night and there was wine consumed. And hard lemonade. And perhaps ice cream, with homemade caramel and chocolate sauces.

Oh my.

I think Saturday’s indulgence opened the door for Sunday’s crash. I think Monday’s ugly weigh in might have been the penalty for a lot of little sins (and the guano incident of Sunday night.) I think my resolve to avoid alcohol needs to be shored up.

I also think homemade caramel sauce is made of angel tears and unicorn farts. With a little Joe Manganiello smolder thrown in.

That shit was gooooood.

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