I Cuss In This One. A Lot. You’ve Been Warned.


I am not a judgemental person. I sort of pride myself on that. But when I see a 6 year old with a fucking iPhone, I get a little crazed. Why does your child need a damned cell phone? WHY?

*also, why does your elementary student have better technology than me, a 40 year old woman?*

But after getting a free download of Angry Birds Star Wars, I now understand why people buy their first graders iPhones.

Because being asked 6 bajillion times a day if they can play the game on your phone is fucking irritating. And when you DO cave and let the little crumb magnet play to shut them the hell up? Nine times out of ten, they drop it in parts unknown and saunter off without returning it. Then, when you’re on your way out the door and need your fucking phone 5 mother-fucking minutes ago? The little shit has NO clue where he left it. And it is dead. Good luck, finding your phone, asshole!


No, he’s not getting an iPhone for his 7th birthday. But I thought about it. Anybody wanna sell me an iTouch cheap?

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