Pin Rage *Cursey*

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I’ll be honest, I’m a total Pinterest addict. Me and practically every other 35-45 year old wife/mother. Wine, yoga pants and Pinterest are what define my social strata.

Damn it, but that is some depressing shit. No wonder I need meds.

Anyway, I like Pinterest a lot. But there are some things about it that make me homicidal. I call them Pin-teases, because it’s just a glimpse of heaven, with no satisfaction in sight.

You know when someone has pinned something you really love and actually want to buy, so you click through to see how much it is or *gasp* just buy that sexy little bastard? Only when the site loads, it’s just some curated site like Obaz or Haute.com that you have to sign up for to actually see what you want? I really hate that. Because I don’t want to sign up and let you foul my inbox with your e-diarreah. I just don’t. I want to buy that gorgeous pair of shoes/owl bookend/coffee cup with a pithy saying that is just so freaking funny it would make the crappiest Monday brighter. But I can’t. Because when I sign up for the fucking site, just so I can give them my money to get this gorgeous little object that is the most abso-fucking-lutely perfect gift on the planet? Your damned site is no longer offering it. The pin is days old and deader than a doornail. It’s the fruit-fly of pins. So I’ve seen Nirvana but the gate is locked and the key is swallowed. Damned Pin-tease.

How about the recipes that are linked to a blog home address, not the actual page with the recipe? Irritating as HELL. I have to search for the recipe, but half the time, some Pinner in a long chain of Pinners has re-named the recipe, so I have to guess at what the recipe might be called, which is like trying to guess a stranger’s name with no hints what-so-ever. It’s made with chicken. That’s what I know. Fucking Pin-tease. Closely related are the people who recreate the entire recipe in the description of the pin. As a blogger, that bugs. Pinterest is a great way to get traffic to your site, but if people have the recipe, they also have no need to click over to you. I don’t get revenue from my blog, but a lot of people do, so it’s a little like taking money out of their pocket. I’m not bitching at you if you have pins like that. I’m bitching at you if you CREATE a pin like that. Knock it off. Unless the link is dead. Then knock yourself out.

I saved the best (worst?) for last: Non-existent tutorials. ARRRRRRGH! I do stuff I find on Pinterest. It’s a resource for me. But anymore, the site is so littered with dead links, spam and blank sites that it’s easier to just google what you need. Though not really, because half of Googles links are Pinterest anyway. It’s Escher-esque. Take this little beauty:

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That’s exactly what I want to do in all three of our bathrooms. There are a lot of tutorials, but this is the first I’ve seen that incorporates lighting in the frame. I’m desperate to get rid of the dressing room lights that are in every single one of our bathrooms. Can I figure out what they did, just by looking at it? I think so. Sort of. Maybe. But a good tutorial is like mace. It gives you a sense of safety when venturing into a scary unknown. I want to learn from the experience of others. It limits my unpleasant surprises and eases the strain on my liquor budget. So when I clicked on this and landed on a hosting site that only compiles screen shots – NO links – NO text – NOTHING BUT THE FUCKING PICTURE? The worst of the Pin-Teases. It’s like giving a virgin half a blow job, then telling them to figure the rest out themselves. Remodelaholic.com is but one of these stupid dead-end sites that compiles pictures with no links. I hate them, because when I see the ads littering their sidebars, I suspect that someone is making at least a little coin from the screen views. Gah. It makes me crazy; mean, ranty, curse-filled crazy.

Not my default setting, despite certain defamatory claims.

Am I quitting Pinterest? Hell no. It’s an excellent way to ignore my family and procrastinate. I’m just indulging in some impotent complaining. I’m as guilty as anyone of perpetuating these Pin-teases. The beauty of Pinterest is in the ability to quickly save these ideas for later perusal. But I sure as hell am going to start commenting on that shit, whether or not it makes me a troll.

I’ll be under my bridge. Pinning.

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