Monthly Archives: March 2015

A Watched Pot

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Some time ago, my doctor suggested I step on the scale every day.

I know. It went against every piece of advice I’ve ever gotten about weight loss. But her goal was to keep me mindful of my choices. I’ve done it with varying levels of commitment for several years now and noticed that when I step on the scale in the morning, my weight stays on my mind all day and informs my choices.

But 15 days into this Whole 30 and I am still struggling. The fatigue is overpowering. By the time dinner rolls around, I barely have energy to eat. And good lord, I want a drink. And a bowl of really good macaroni and cheese. And a cadbury egg. And a …

You get the picture. I’m feeling weak. My willpower flexes it’s muscles and gets the cartoon dip instead. Cue the slide whistle.

Last time was so much easier. The rapid weight loss kept me going. (Yes, I was weighing myself every day – you’re really not supposed to do that. Please don’t tell Dallas and Melissa!) When I wanted to give up, I’d think about the 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 pounds I’d lost and plow through. That’s not happening this go ’round. And so the siren call of carbs is loud in my mind. And tummy.

So I’m taking a radical step. I’m pledging to stay off the scale for the rest of this Whole 30. I’ve lost 7 pounds so far and am hopeful the next three-four will come off by April 11th. The slowed loss is discouraging and I don’t need that negativity. I’ll tackle the next two weeks with determination and a desire to feel better, if not lighter. Instead of the scale, I’ll be attempting meditation to achieve mindfulness.

We’ll see how that goes.

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Marching On

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I didn’t forget I have a blog. I swear. And no, I haven’t finished my novel. In fact, I recently had a authorial crisis and went back to square one.

I know. I suck.

During December, I loosened the reins a little. It was effort to keep me from feeling deprived, because let’s face it. When I feel deprived, I snap and binge on ALL. THE. FOODZ. It worked for December. I didn’t lose my damn mind and only ate little bits of dairy, sugar and grains.

And the January hit and I swear, I meant to start a Whole 30 on 1/1/15, but there was a compelling reason that I no longer remember for postponing it. I only gained a few pounds – not too bad. I mean, it is, errr, was the holidays. Midway through January, I decided to reboot via Whole 30. That lasted a whopping 7 days, people. WOW.

After Valentine’s Day, I tried again and this time lasted 3 days. By this point I’d have to try to Whole 30 at least 9 more times, just to get a full 30 days in. So I gave up. Not entirely. I still ate a Paleo diet 3-4 days a week. The other half of the time, I was like an episode of that Guy Fieri show. (Don’t lie, you know you watch that dirty food porn.)

Now, midway through March, I’m looking at the scale going WTF, Jen??? I hit my 50 pound mark. But it took me way too long to do it. So I’m recommitting. I’m not waiting, postponing or writing myself a note. WHOLE 30, bitches. With a pan of raisin bars in my kitchen and a mom’s dinner out planned at a killer local Mexican place. I’ll be ordering a salad and bringing my own balsamic vinaigrette. Because that’s how I roll right now. NO WAY IN HELL I’m losing 50 pounds just to slide down the mountain again. I gave away my bigger jeans. There are no fall back fat pants.

I have to keep pushing forward and that’s not really my strong suit. But I’m tired. I feel like shit. It’s time to get my spring on and shed another 50 pounds. I’m looking forward to buying pants in a size that starts with a 1.

Here’s to beginning again.